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Editor: Staff. Friday 2nd September 2005.

Feature Article

VS Paradise Forum Awards 2005
by Anthony Macali

Welcome to the first Annual VS Paradise Forum Awards. Wow! Has it been a year already? Actually, I don't know because I've only been on the forums since January. But still, please don't let me undermine the fact that 12 months have passed and it's now time to honour those who make VS Paradise the beautiful oasis it represents.

The idea of forum awards was first suggested back in December 2004. However, the idea seemed to be put to rest after only 15 replies. I guess there wasn't much enthusiasm back then. But it wasn't until VS Paradise 1st Year Anniversary that the concept was raised once again to the jubilation of the members of the staff forums. After numerous days of deliberation, categories and threads were created and nominees were placed in their respective polls. Many of the threads sparked conversation and controversy (except the one I won, not even one bloody reply… go figure), however the winners in each category were quite clear…

Like is notorious for his invariable nonsense. I don't understand any of his rants or rambles, but they still make laugh (simple things amuse simple minds I guess). Nonetheless, Like's 8 votes pushed out his nearest rival honest by 2 and won his first coveted award. Here's some example of his dispatches of justice (whatever that means):

I think it's gonna be so powerful that Uly will grow hair, Zantides will remember who James Kong is, Paul Ross will quit judging, Randall will play lightning fast, Ks-ap will become humble, Vanderwerk will stand-up for himself against his wife, C-stad will stop selling Magic cards, Jenova will stop looking kinda like Shortround, Shaboogen will calm down, Foggo will stop being a bargain-hunter, Honest will become mean, Matt will become polite, MBRO will stop having a gay avatar, Cool Zero will stop thinking he's black, Ray will move even further west, Adrian will breathe properly, ast rob oy will start acting straight, Raider will stop living in Canberra, Corney will play conventional decks, Ike E Bear will stop posting, Sam K will stop praising Allah, Torquemada will actually start playing VS, Jonesy will not be crucified at the end ot The Passion of the Christ, boyas will start wearing pants, holycow will stop wearing clothes he finds in the street, Eggnet will drive in the right direction, .Shaun will stop looking like Napoleon Dynamite Jr., Leander will stop cheating, Paslaria will stop playing Spider-Friends, djogs will eat meat, Ben Seck will not be paid out for being a dodgy gay liar, Porky and Cheesy will become productive members of society, migga anthony will stop looking so well groomed [Editor: Nothing wrong with a lil product in your hair], eman will win a Pulitzer Prize, En-kur's articles will become entertaining and worthwhile, Tokes will see ladies as something more than "good friends", Ryan will play in an actual tournament, Howard Mak will stop using 16 ATK pumps per deck, DarkJason will also play conventional decks, ynot1985 willbecome a member of the UDE VS R & D team, Tozer will start supporting a team other than Cronulla (poor guy), David Xu will stop being a hit with the ladies,

...and I will stop using massive letters in useless posts...

…or will I?

What the hell is this? He won again. I have nothing more to say about Like. I used up all the good stuff already. Suffice to say, Luke's second award was for Best Article of the Year. “The Yellow Scrubmarine AKA Melbourne 10K Bus Trip Report” follows the trials and tribulations of 12 Sydney gamers packed into a metal brick hurtling 110km down the highway. It's a gripping story and recommended to all those who plan to follow suite and carpool across the border and road trip in style.

The Yellow Scrubmarine

You must be joking? Three awards… What's this one for again? (Let me check the script). Holycow it was close. His third award (and hopefully final one) is for Spammer of the Year. Now, we're not talking about the delicious Spiced Ham here, but the unsolicited and unrelenting posts that are succinct and blatantly pointless. Guess it beats doing stuff.

Finally, someone that's not Luke. Wait a minute… it's only me! Sorry guys! You would hope I would win Best Fantasy Card Creator. Not only did I create the famous photoshop templates that adore VS forums around the world, I also make some really cool cards I hope. If only I knew more about comics and characters, I could create my own set. Maybe I should just keep making those Alternate Extended Art pictures. Don't have to think then. Just find a good picture. Anyways, my portfolio of work can be found at this friend. Enjoy!

My Portfolio

Kieren's fanaticism borders extremism. If honest was a character card in VS, his team would be Arkham Inmates and he would definitely contain the keyword loyalty (also for this to be true, totally disregard the card I made above). His passion extends to the Pro Circuit, where he plans to ride the inmates to victory and challenges his VS peers to honour their favoured teams and follow in his gallant footsteps. (*cough: you Van der Werk). I doubt any will have the balls to follow. In a whitewash, this award goes to you Otton.

It's good to see a fellow Victorian win another forum award. However, the award in question also suggests we are all crazy in Victoria. Just look at the photo. I may have difficulty in defending this, but there is no doubt BigYoda does create some wacky decks. He is a mad scientist for the sheer number of decks he tends to build, and crazy for incorporating team and themes not considered viable. I believe that there is some method to his madness. His exposure to all the cards definitely compliments his sealed game. See you at the next sealed PCQ Walklate. May the best miser win!

Many of our signatures consist of memorable quotes. Many like pretty graphics. They may be pretty girls, your nickname in some cool font, or even website logos which failed competitions. Only one has the Dancing Dynamite himself. His moves are mesmerizing. But that's not only thing. Combined with a personalised slogan, Torquemada couldn't lose this award. This is “The power of Torquemada”.

I never met TheCrimsonScribe. Never spoke to him. Never knew him really. But damn, I miss the guy. World of Warcraft has taken over the world and snatched many people under its grasp. The phenomenon has also inspired a new trading card game. Man, we have lost some good people in this war.

Well most of the nominees for this category were qualified for their bells and whistles they brought to VS Paradise, Ike E Bear was nominated for simply being an all round nice guy. Wait, that was Kerryn…. Umm… That's right, because out of Paradise's some 600 members, he has made the most posts and managed not to piss anyone off. I know, surprising from resident of Canberra (sorry, couldn't help myself). All the nominees for Best Community Citizen are winners. They have brought smilies, logos, search engines, various graphics on main page and column headers… But in the true sense, Michael is the winner and the Champion. Congratulations!

What a year it has been. Continually new members join the friendly Australian community of VS Paradise. Kudos to Vanwolfgang and ssteven and Happy 1st Birthday VS Paradise.

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