Editor: James Paraha. Monday 22nd August 2005.
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Things'
Editor: James Paraha. Monday 22nd August 2005.
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 “The Fantastic Four?”
In 'On the Face of Things' we take a look at who those people in the little pictures actually are, their histories, powers and how these qualities are represented on their VS. cards. Ok, this one's for all the comic n00bs out there. Requests have been made to spotlight the DC and Marvel big guns in this column but frankly much better writers have posted much better articles than I could write on these comic book icons, so instead today you'll get the quick and dirty version on the four most recognised superheroes in the world - Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman and Spider-Man. Spider-Man
History: Ok, have you watched the Spider-Man movie? If you have great, if you haven't go watch it I'll wait... Done? Good. Ok the first third of that movie, the origin sequence, that is the finest translation of a superhero's origin to the movie screen bar none. It only sneaks in two differences to Spidey's actual comic book history. For those that were too cheap to hire the movie lets recap: Peter Parker is an orphan growing up in Brooklyn with his Aunt May and Uncle Ben. He's a nerd* who likes science and photography. In high school he crushes on Liz Allen** and is friends with Harry Osbourne. While attending an open scientific demonstration Peter is bitten by an irradiated spider, which grants him his spider-like powers. He uses these powers for profit by winning a number of prizefight wrestling matches under the masked identity of the Amazing Spiderman. Developing quite a self-centered attitude, Peter refuses to help a policeman stop a robber backstage at the wrestling show. A few days later Peter and Aunt May are informed that Uncle Ben has been killed by a criminal. when Peter tracks him down as Spider-Man he is aghast to find that it is the same robber he failed to subdue at the wrestling show. The words of Uncle Ben come back to haunt him and drive Peter to take up masked crime fighting to atone for his failure: "With great power, comes great responsibility." And then there was fighting. Lots of fighting. Fighting with criminals and super villains. Generally lots of fighting for many years. During all the fighting Peter, finished high school and moved on to collage, where he would be introduced to two girls who vie for his affections, Gwen Stacy and Mary Jane Watson.
Peter soldiers on with his life continuing to study and work as a press photographer for the Daily Bugle newspaper. Eventually Mary Jane comes back into his life and after a few more years the couple marry. Since then Spidey life has had more ups and down's - plenty more fights, Mary Jane becoming pregnant, splitting up with Mary Jane, getting back together again, Aunt May finding out about Peter being Spider-Man, Peter leaving the Bugle to become a teacher and Spidey becoming a member of the New Avengers. Powers: Spider-Man has strength, speed and agility commensurate to that of a spider. He can lift (press) around 10 ton and can leap at least 10 meters vertically from a standing start. Spidey's reaction time has been greatly heightened, allowing him to respond far faster than a normal human, this means that although he cannot run at super speeds he can move quick enough to dodge bullets if necessarily. Spider-Man also has the ability to stick to most surfaces via the palm of his hands and soles of his feet. Lastly Peter has a 'spider sense' - a subconscious sense that warns him of immediate physical dangers. Recently Peter has grown web spinnerets in both of his forearms allowing him to expel a silken substance with an amazing degree of tensile strength and adhesive qualities. Equipment: Previous to growing spinnerets, Peter utilized a set of wrist mounted mechanical 'webshooters' of his own design.*** Peter also has a 'spider signal' light built into his belt and has also used spider trackers he invented that allowed him to track things via his spider sense.****
Where to go now:
Superman
History: As above with Spider-Man go and rent the 1978, Richard Donner directed Superman movie with Christopher Reeve, again the origin sequence is pretty spot on. The rest... is a good movie but not really true Superman canon. So basically, Superman is (theme developing here...) an orphan!. Born on the planet Krypton, Supes was given the name Kal-el. Due to environmental abuse Krypton was going to explode and only one man, Supes father Jor-el, had discovered this. Unable to convince the other Kryptionians of the danger he hastily constructed a prototype rocket and launched his infant son towards planet Earth. Landing out side of a small country town called Smallville in Kansas, Kal-el was discovered by John and Martha Kent, a couple unable to have children of their own. They decided to keep the infant Kal-el and shipped him and the rocket back to their farm. It soon became apparent to the Kents that young Clark (as they had named him) had some funky powers and taught him humility and to use his abilities for the good of mankind. Now technically Superman was never Superboy despite the plethora of comics and TV shows. Blame DC for retconning^* that part of Supes history. Likewise Clark was not best buddies with Lex Luthor lik in the Smallville TV show either. Supes first 'came out' when he moved to Metropolis as Clark Kent to become a journalist for the Daily Planet newspaper. It was there that he also first encountered the ruthless business man named Uly...err I mean, Lex Luthor who remains a thorn in his side many decades later. And then came the fighting. Fighting aliens, fighting criminals, fighting animals, lots and lots of fisticuffs. He meets fellow reporter Lois Lane at the Daily Planet and falls for her hard. After 40 odd years they get hitched (finally!). In the 90's DC killed Supes in a marketing stunt that sold millions of the Man of Steel's comics only to bring him back some 6 months later. Since then Superman has been in a happy rut, married no kids, leader of the Justice League of America, nothing he can't handle with a swift punch to the face. Powers: Clark's powers are fueled by exposure to yellow Suns (such as ours). Krypton orbited a red sun and hence its citizens never developed the powers that Superman has. Currently Superman has the following range of powers:^**
Where to go now:
Batman
History: This time watch Batman Begins. Take out the crap about having a young female playmate and it's just about right. And although its a good movie, forget about the rest 'cause it didn't happen that way. Bruce Wayne was (shock, horror!) an orphan. His parents were killed when the three of them left an opera early via the rear exit. They were approached in the alley by a mugger who shot dead both his parents in an attempt to get his mothers pearl necklace. Young Bruce was traumatised by his fear and inability to prevent the mugger from killing his parents. Raised by the family butler Alfred Pennyworth, Bruce dedicated himself to revenging his parents death, training in martial arts and detective work. In his early twenties he decided that to properly combat criminals he needed to become a symbol of fear for all wrong doers. By chance a bat that lived in the caves beneath the Wayne Manor flew in the window and sealed the deal, Bruce decided to become a 'Batman'. Clothed in a mask and cape^^* Bruce ventured forth to cleanse Gotham city of criminals. Fighting, fighting, fighting. Batman fought street criminals and all variety of insane costumed foes such as the Joker. He fought with hands and feet and occasionally used a modicum of detective work, but usually a quick sock to the the jaw solved all his problems. As the Batman, Bruce developed a partnership with the Gotham Chief of Police - Jim Gordon. Gordon would provide the inside gossip on what was happening on the streets and Batman would go out and defeat the crazies that were too much for regular police. To keep his identity as Batman secret, Bruce reinvented himself by day as a foppish millionaire playboy, little concerned with the running of the family business, Waynecorp and more interested in beautiful women and the next gala social event. It was at one of these social events, a nationally proclaimed circus that Bruce met Dick Grayson. Dick was the youngest son of the Flying Graysons, the circuses trapeze troupe. During their perfomance the tent was raided by a crime gang armed with a bomb. Unable to get away to change into his Batman duds, Bruce watched as the elder Graysons sacrificed themselves to get the bomb away from the crowd. When the police finally captured the gang. Bruce took the orphaned Dick home with him. Dick soon worked out Bruce's secret and begged Bruce to take him on as his sidekick, so was Robin the Boy Wonder born. For a time Bruce and Dick were joined by Barbra Gordon^^** as Batgirl but eventually she was shot through the spine and crippled by the Joker. Batman and Robin adventured for 30+ years before Dick retired the identity to become Nightwing. Bruce soon found a replacement in Jason Todd, another orphan. After a few years DC ran a promotional stunt allowing fans to ring and vote on the fate of the new Robin. The vote came in badly for Jason who was bashed to death by the Joker^^*** For the last ten years Robin has been Tim Drake, who was smart enough to figure out that Bruce and Bats were one and the same, forcing him to take him on as Robin. Running another promotional push during the 90's, DC ran a story where Batman had his back broken by newcomer Bane. He handed on his identity to another newcomer the 'hero' Azrael. It soon became apparent that the new Azrael/Batman was none to mentally stable and the recovered Bruce was forced in to battle with Azrael for the identity of Batman. He won, got Dick to run the Bat costume for a few months while he convalesced and then took up the mantle again. Since then Batman has joined the current roster of the Justice League of America and after Jim Gordon retired is now considered a criminal by the police department in Gotham. Powers: Bruce Wayne has no powers of his own. Bruce is a highly trained athlete and martial artist having studied under various masters around the world. Bruce is also considered to be one of the best tacticians and detectives in the world. As the owner of Waynecorp, Batman has access to cutting edge technological devices. Equipment: Batman uses various equipment in order to gain advantage over his foes.
Where to go now:
Wonder Woman
History: Finally a major superhero who isn't an orphan, kinda, sorta. She's got a mother but no father. No he's not dead, she never had a father. You see her mother made her out of clay.... 'Born' in an other-dimensional plane where the gods of Greek mythology dwelt, Diana was formed from clay to be the daughter and heir to Queen Hippolyta of Paradise Island (aka Themiscrya), home to the Amazons. The clay sculpture was imbued with the soul of a baby which had died in its mother's womb by a number of goddesses and the god Hermes, all of whom gave her a portion of their power. Diana was raised from birth according to the warrior traditions of the Amazons but was unable to compete in certain tournaments that decided special Amazon champions as she was already predestined to be the next queen of the Amazons. Unbeknownst to her mother, Diana secretly entered a special tournament designed to find an Amazonian champion to fight the god Ares. Diana won and when she was unmasked, Hippolyta was force by tradition to name her champion and the title of Wonder Woman. In doing so she also had to take away Diana's title and rights to the throne. Diana went on to defeat Ares plans that involved starting a nuclear war on Earth and when done accepted a role as an Amazonian emissary to the Earth or the 'patriarch's world' as the Amazons named it. Since her arrival on Earth, Diana has championed the cause of justice and specifically the cause of female rights. As well as the expected fisticuffs with costumed villains, Wonder Woman has opened woman's shelters for displaced and abused women and written books on equality for both sexes. She has also established a number of Amazonian embassies around the world where women are taught self empowerment. Diana was a founding member of the Justice League of America and continues to serve in Earth's premier super team. During the mid '90's Diana lost the title of Wonder Woman to another Amazon named Artemis until she was killed^^^. Since then, Diana has fought, lost her memory, got it back, written a book that made her the target of assassination, lost her mother, been blinded, had her sight restored and acted as the only consistent female member of the JLA. Powers: Diana has invulnerability and super strength in the 100+ ton class but is known to be just below the level of Superman. She also possesses the ability to fly and has been granted super speed by the Greek god Hermes. Diana has been trained since birth in various fighting styles and advanced battle tactics. Equipment: Possibly Diana's best know piece of equipment is her magic lasso. Forged from the golden girdle of Aphrodite, the magical lasso is unbreakable and can mystically increase and decrease in length. The Lasso also has the ability to compel those it entwines to tell the truth. Along with the lasso fans of the TV show probably remember her of indestructible bracelets that allow her to deflect gunfire^^^*. Lastly is her famous invisible plane, which is... a jet plane that is invisible...^^^^
Where to go now:
So there seems to be a very simple way to ensure that you become an extremely famous superhero and that is make sure your parents get killed off as early as possible. Or be made of clay. Whichever takes your fancy. There is a simple theme running through the first pictures under each of the character profiles, if you know what it is, let it be known in the comments forum. It's nothing really tricky so don't go looking for hidden meanings. Also if anyone comes across a picture of a Wonder Woman pumpkin let me know! I really wanted to use the Supes and Batman jack'o'lanterns but couldn't find a Wonder Woman one to complete the set. Cheers, James Paraha (Torquemada on the forums).
* Though not a total nerd as there is no record of him ever playing Vs :)
"Face it Tiger... You just hit the jackpot!" *** Movie difference number 2.. The reason he has recently grown spinnerets is to keep the comicbook version of Spider-Man as close to the now widely know movie version so that poor shlubs like you and me don't get confused. Way to talk down to your audience guys. **** Not to mention the Spider-buggy and the Spider-glider and the Spider-whatever-the-hell-you-want-as-long-as-we-can-make-it-into-an-action-figure-or-toy. ^* Retcon = retroactive continuity. Basically due to their extensive print histories, a lot of DC and Marvel's characters have had their histories carefully (careLESSly in some cases) reorganised to appeal to the current audience. ie. Batman doesn't kill or use guns despite him slaughtering many a gangster in his early Bob Kane written adventures. ^** Up until the early 1980's Supes powers were virtually limitless. He could move planets with his strength, he was fast enough to traverse vast space distances in minutes and even break light speed to travel through time, he was supremely intelligent and could even render himself invisible. His abilities were retconned (there's that word again) in 1986 after the events of Crisis of infinite Earths. ^*** Kryptonite is the space borne remnants of the planet Krypton. Many chunks have fallen to Earth and fall into a handful of different types:
^^* First he tried cricket whites, pads and a groin cup but realised that was the outfit of a batsman not a batman... ^^** The daughter of Jim Gordon. ^^*** By this time you think Bats would have just bit the bullet and capped the Joker's ass but nooo he keeps putting him back in Arkham Asylum, Home for the Criminally Insane, a place that seems awfully easy to escape from. ^^^ By this point you may have noticed that the 90's were not a good time for the icons of DC. They were the target of a number of 'shock' marketing tactics that in my opinion only devalued their appeal over all. ^^^* Which seems pretty useless when she invulnerable enough to go toe to toe with Superman. ^^^^ Again, she can fly, why does she need a plane? |
In the end Peter chooses Gwen and the couple date for a few years. During
this time the Green Goblin (one of Spidey's foes) discovers Peter's real life
identity and culminates his attacks on Peter's family and friends by taking Gwen
hostage on the George Washington bridge. Spidey confronts the Goblin and in the
ensuing fight, Gwen is pushed from the bridge. Spidey rescues Gwen by catching
her with his webbing, however, when he pulls her back up he finds that she is
dead. Peter is never able to know for sure whether the shock of the fall
or the sudden stop when he grabbed her with the webbing that killed her. More
guilt for Spidey.
**
Movie difference number 1. In the movie, Peter's high school love interest is Mary Jane Watson whom is an amalgam of
the two great loves of Peter's life Gwen Stacy and Mary Jane Watson. Gwen
was the blonde good girl type (show on the right), Mary Jane was the knockout
redhead party girl. In the movie, director Sam Raimi merges Pete's two major love interests
Gwen and Mary Jane, she got Gwen's personality and fashion sense and Mary Jane's
hair colour and career. I can understand why they did it, the movies were never going to
have the time to develop two love interests and needed a Hollywood happy ending,
still the death of Gwen Stacy rates as one of the top Spidey stories ever.
It also means we miss out on on of the best character intros in comicbook
history. Mary Jane's first few appearances were with her face blocked from view
as she was setup to go on a blind date with Peter so the readers weren't sure if
she was as ugly as they were lead to believe. When she is finally revealed she
knocked Pete for six!