Editor: Paul Van Der Werk. Thursday 19th August 2004.
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Editor: Paul Van Der Werk. Thursday 19th August 2004.
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 Teen Titans – and other XXX pics Wassup, hola and a how’s it going VS fans. We’re here with another instalment of the wackiest, craziest, zaniest fun filled column on the net. All I ask is for you to sit back, relax, have a kit kat and read and ponder the following, done soley for your own amusement (and my bank account $$). This week we’re going to look at building a constructed deck around the Teen Titans. What’s that you say? You prefer Bats and Cats? Unlucky. You would like to read about Penguins and Riddles? Look up Keiren (honest). You can’t stand these stupid rhetorical questions? Me neither. So let’s get on with those wild youngen’s: The Teen Titans (go Teen Titans go…feels like a Power Ranger episode) When I, and anyone for that matter, checked out these little crackers, the first card you invariably see as bombalicious is Garth <> Tempest. This dude is the absolute retarded nuts, netting you card after card in your KO pile, all for the measly cost of 3.99 endurance (or 3 for those not in the know)
“Bombalicious” The best cards to return with Garth are obviously Savage Beatdown and Acrobatic Dodge but depending on which way you want to run it, you could be getting back such classic hits as Teen Titans Go, for more teaming fun (I haven’t seen this much teaming since walking in on “The Dungeon” ‘in progress’…) the Raven 7 drop you tossed earlier to a Titan Tower (Fappo), or any of the cards you randomly mill with Tamaran (ever thought that with Tamaran, enough card drawing and Goth corp, Phantasm could be playable? I haven’t, but have you?... if so, click www.mtgparadise.com and take up a game where this may be a reality, cause it aint happening here). “Back to the lecture at hand” (special door prize to the person who knows what song that’s from), Garth is the main reason to play this deck, but he’s not the only one. In building the deck I went straight for what looked to be the best cards… 1) Garth <> Tempest – Atlantean Sorcerer. I don’t know what their feeding these mooks in Atlantia (hehe Atlantia I am so funny..) but they obviously have Weet Bix, this guy is retarded. First scratching on paper: 4 Garth 2) Hawk and Dove – “Without you Hawk I am nothing”… “With out you Dove I am nothing”… but by our powers combined we are “Captain Planet!” Oh wait that’s another entirely different show. But you get the drift. I think these two rival Wolverine for the best 3 drop in the game. Not only is first turn Dawn, second turn Hank the goods, but the probability of drawing one of the 8(?) by turn 3 is pretty high leading more to consistency than anything else. The flight on Dove is just gravy… but did anyone say overload?
3) Raven – When all the little ones have had their fun, the Daughter of Trigon the unplayable comes in to mop up. Seriously she is sooooo good. You need SOMETHING when you hit this turn, and with Garth’s ability you can ditch her early, or mill her with Tamaran to get her back at your convenience. Once she hits the table, it’s Heroic Sacrifice all over the shop, 1 endurance, and a W for you, GG. 4) And the Rest – Fillers for the rest of the crew include Pantha, Tim Drake (2), Red Star, Bart Allen, a couple of Nightwings, Starfire, and Superboy. I’m not a fan of Superboy and might trade him out for something else (Mr.Freeze =)..jk) but otherwise the others do the J.O.B. (gotta have a J.O.B. if you wanna get with me…) 5) Tamaran, Liberty Island Base, Optitron, Titan’s Tower: The Fantastic Four of Teen Titan locations my friends. These are some of the coolest tricks around. Let’s shop in Tamaran where you’ll notice not only the ‘milling’ effect (Mill: comes from a Magic the Gathering card called ‘Millstone’. ‘Milling’ is the act of putting cards from top of library to KO pile) for Garth’s bag of goodies, but also the pat on the back for Red Star and his ‘Nightcrawler (2) ability’. The added pump is also randomly good when your just 1 shy of the stun, or as a surprise on the D. Speaking of surprise on D, Liberty Island Base plays Spider Senses to your Teen Titans, and with Bart Allen on the Table, everyone is safe. Add Acrobatic Dodge, and +6 D is hard to contend with (oh plus Tamaran for +7. “What up Gs”). Optitron is one of those cards that, like Longshot or Alfred Pennyworth, isn’t of much value to you passed the first or second turn. With that said, if you do miss a drop (heaven forbid) this will pull you out of a tight squeeze. I recommend 2-3 even though you want it early. And finally the Coup De Grace: Titan Tower. Smoking Hot hot. This plays Nasty Surprise and Savage Beatdown, all in a comfy guise of a repeatable location (that can’t be fizzled or not-so-fasted in the case of nasty =)). Here, like Garth is another reason to play the lil’ buggers. I’m actually not a big fan of running 4 of the same locations (unless they say Avalon Space Station, Lost City, or Underground Sentinel Base…ugh), so just whack like 2-3 into your deck and you should be A-OK.
6) Plot Twist heaven: Heroic Sacrifice (“my sacrifice da na na na, da na na na”) is another reason to run the titans. It’s like Fizzle and Children of the Atom. Affiliation specific plot twists that are uber strong. Shame Xmen and Goth knights are crap… heheh. Acrobatic Dodge: Is one of those cards you run 4 of in every deck that can’t support a good Cover-Fire. Defensive tricks are usually better than offensive tricks but maybe not when it’s… Savage Beatdown: Paging Garth, Paging Mr Garth, you are needed to open a can of Whoop-Ass please. The Savage Beats this card gives over and over again is sooo god damn obvious it pains me to have to justify it’s being here. The only thing I’ll warn about is to use it to win, use it to beat up the curve, and use it to make an attack gone wrong go right. DO NOT use it to do an extra 5 damage. I will beat you over the head if you do. Plot twists are tricks, not extra damage. Remember that. Overload/Not-So-Fast: I’ve had long discussions with the guys I hang around about this and the answer is obvious when you think about it. What are you more afraid of? Uber pumps to beat the living crap out of you, or your opponent overloading your guys? With Hawk/Dove and Savage Beatdown/Garth in the deck I’m going to opt for not-so-fast. On top of these reasons is the fact Bart Allen makes all your guys have reinforcement so the pumps shouldn’t be too bad. Have a Blast: you NEED location hate. It’s a fact of life. I ran this because it also hits team-ups which seemed worth worrying about, and the loss of the card can be recouped with Garth (this guy does everything). So in the end the deck pretty much came out like this 4 Acrobatic
Dodge 4 Tamaran (Numbers may vary (but only slightly) as the deck is at home and I’m writing this in the 4hr(!) break I have between lectures at Uni) I think that was the list I played on the weekend I won. I played 3 experimental Gotham Knights decks though and went through them like warm butter (or soft Vanilla Ice Cream =), I played a Teen Titan deck that featured the Teen Titan Go plot twist and beat that just, and I played Ray “Give me my PCQ Check” Isais who bashed the living crap outta me with his (Luke’s?) Mutant Nation Deck. I came in first (4-1) which was cool, although I didn’t play all of the major decks. Here’s some of the things I learned with the deck. Raven = Nut High. She ends the turn face up on turn 7 your more likely than not going to win. If you think she’ll get stunned for any reason keep a heroic sacrifice handy. Think Mr. Freeze on crack. Teen Titans Go has promise. Team it with Garth and Tim Drake (2) then you’ve got something. I had my entire team demolished in one game by it, but you need to play smaller guys to make it worth it. This could be put into a deck with Kaboom to make your drops better. I might test it, but running kaboom invariably means you don’t run Raven… and why would you want to do that to yourself. Big Brother and Mutant nation have too many plot twists and locations for 3 Have a Blasts to be good enough. Sure Garth gets em back but it may be too expensive (a card + 3 life) to do every turn. Maybe by running more location hate could sure up the match-up but right now the Teen Titans guys seem a tad too small. Overall I’m very happy with the deck. Adding some more location removal will be a top priority and I’ll post in the forums I have for the deck. Until next time remain calm, keep your hands up and hand over your money.
-Scott Smith |
